Sunday 10 July 2011

Something a bit different

Today's blog will be a bit different from what i normal write about.
Since the moment my baby girl left with her dad and Saturday morning i don't know why but i have just been complacent not sure why.. Hell even on Friday i was a bit like that. Life is so much different then i thought it would be this year,it gets me down from time to time but this is clearly what my life is meant to be right now,but it has be thinking a hell of a lot about where my life is going to take me in the future....I'm not worried but curious really. When something big happens in my life i always do something big to myself like cut my hair off,colour it a crazy colour,get a piercing or a tattoo... I haven't done anything, but i realised a few weeks back my big change is my losing the weight finally after almost 8 years! It sure is a slow process and the past few days the slowness of it has been getting to me..... I am being patient though i know i will get to my goal weight i need to hang in there on days like well the past few days.

With everything life has thrown at me the past 8 years i am proud of who i am and who i have the potential to be as a Mother,friend,sister,daughter and eventually teacher. But atm i really need to focus on me and the kids... me with the losing weight and getting healthy and the kids well getting Jack sorted with all his appointments i need to make for him and possibly another huge change but i am not going to say what till i know for sure. Lilly well she is growing up so fast and learning new things every day.. before i know it she will be off to school which makes me want to cry! My kids,my worlds are the reason i am who i am and they make me want to be better everyday! I would be lost without them, but i hate that Jack doesn't see Grant and doesn't know that side of him,as much as they have done wrong by him you should know who all your family are! And Lilly i love that Mick and his family are still so involved but i hate the way it effects Jack,he is a tough cookie my boy i wish life was a little kinder to him. Although he makes me proud every day with being such a happy amazing child even with everything that has been thrown his way. Yes we have our ups and a hell of a lot of downs but i wouldn't change him for anything he is my special mini man.

I know i need yo hang in there with everything.. Today is just one of those downer days... doesn't help i haven't had much sleep. I know i have a good life, i have wonderful friends and family and so much support with everything that i do. Just wish a few things were just a bit different but i guess life is what you make it! I really hope things start getting better and happier there has been too much sadness the first half of the year.. It is about time happy stuff started to happen i say!
Well i am going to go it is nap time for Lil pil!
Xoxo

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