Today....

Well today was over all a good day cant really complain about it but i feel like i have had the worst day(nothing against you Tammie i love you and Markiss) I have no idea why i am feeling like this. Even woke up in a mood still didn't help with some messages i had.Most of my day was spent with a great friend and the kids played and had a great time as did i chatting to another adult LOL,after i left there i went and applied for a job and i was given an application form but it was like 23 questions long and a lot of them you had to answer with a short description... Well did that throw me BIG time. Don't get me wrong i sat down and did it but it has been over 8 years since i applied for a job and not knowing that i have to do all this writing and stuff was just like a big slap in the face i had no idea what to write for most.Took me almost half an hour and i haded it back.. not sure i will hear anything but hey i tried... also i applied online for another job,not holding my breath. So like i said i didn't have a crap day just in the mood like i did.
I have been feeling tired from the moment i got home from picking jack up this afternoon and all i have wanted to do was lay down and have a nap but i talked myself out of it(plus Lil was taking forever to go to sleep) so i sat and did some stuff on the net and watch from Raising Hope,all i had going through my head was go get some of jack easter egg chocolate and much away... Well i stopped myself i had a tiny little Andes mint chocolate and went and jumped on the treadmill for about 15-20 mins.... even writing this now i still really want chocolate,it is this mood i always like to comfort eat and i am holding back so much it is making my mood worse but i just wanna try and power through today and hope tomorrow is a better day! Thinking i might have a muffin after dinner if i am still dieing for some chocolate.
I realised today that i have some really supportive friends.. well majority are but just those ones that help boost your ego that bit more or make you feel like you could be/are some special.. I dunno just lately like i said in my last blog things have kinda hit me and i really don't have much self esteem or faith in myself and i really do need to find some or life will get a bit harder specially with looking for a job.I dunno i always try to please everyone and make them happy and be there when needed but i guess i dont really focus on me much now a days.... I know i am trying to lose weight and get healthy and yes it is totally for me but the past week it has been hard to do anything to do with that i am pushing myself through and hope that i will snap out of this but i don't really think i am very interesting or pretty.(no this isnt one of those times where a person is looking for people to go but you are pretty,i am simply saying this is how i feel/see myself). I need to find my confidence in myself and now i can do this and anything else i put my mind too. The past few months i am been hearing people say things to me that are wonderful and i love them for that but i am just not seeing it.... I guess i will in time just need to really work on me some more not just getting healthy and losing weight.But i am sure i will get through and hopefully soon.
Ok wow LONG post... well better run anyways i hear my baby girl awake
Until next time xoxo

Long time

I know i haven't blogged for over a week,but i have 2 sick kids plus i haven't been feeling the best and then a busy/painful weekend.
Last week wasn't the best week.. i didn't gain weight but i didn't put any on i had a bit of bad food last week....Still trying to eat smaller meals and have little snacks but i really need to step up with the exercise.I know i will get there and it is a bit hard atm i think i have an ear infection and last week the past few months is finally catching up on me.
I think with everything catching up on me it is making it harder to not hoe into the bad food just trying to deal with being on my own,and grand father dieing.I knew it would catch up to me but now it has life is a little bit harder but i will get through this and i will stay strong and do this! Just need to keep telling myself why i am doing this.
So far this week it is going ok,had something small today but i am gunna try and get myself on the treadmill tonight and my aim is to get on it every day from now on.Not sure how i will go with having the blocked ear throws your balance off LOL.

If anyone has some low fat desert ideas that isn't yogurt let me know it is my killer!!!

Friday!!!

I am so proud i lost an inch in a week!!! It has just motivated me even more,I have even noticed i have lost a little bit.Still feeling great even though i am so tired but been dealing with a sick/teething baby but its all good i am sticking to eating healthy although today i haven't had as much as i normally would i have a bit of a sore throat but i am going to make sure i don't eat too much for dinner seeing as i am having road done in the slow cooker WOOHOO. I have noticed that eating healthier even after a week is becoming so much easier and portion sizes are starting to not baffle me as much. Just after this week i know i can keep doing this and i am starting to find myself a little bit more as i slowly get some confidence back that i can actually do what i put my mind to and get the results i want.

Just a short post for now.
xoxo

Humpday *giggle*

I am sooo buggered right now but i feel fantastic!!Yesterday i did 20 mins on the treadmill and my 6 stomach workouts only did bare minimum with them but my god could i feel it working!Today i did 30mins and my 6 stomach workouts i did a few extra... hoping a a week or so i can do as much a few times all together but will see how i go! I found out a great movie to watch while on the treadmill is hairspray lots of boppy songs helps get your mojo going LOL. My eating is getting better i am starting to get better at giving myself much smaller portions and well frozen meals come in handy too. But i have decided that Mothers Day i will eat what i want when i want cause well it is my day i shouldn't have to hold back!! I will just work it off on Monday.

Tomorrow will be 1 week since i started all this i am very curious to see how much i lost in a week but i know i will be happy with anything even if it is a little bit cause i feel great!!A little tired but doesn't help i have been having late night,gunna try have an early one tonight! I am so glad i have started this yes it can be hard and will keep being hard but i am loving feeling like this and before i know it i will have lost a heap of weight and hoping the kids will have to keep up with me.

Well gunna go can hear the microwave screaming at me cause my lunch is ready. Check in tomorrow for my loss. xoxo

Been a few days.....

So i haven't written anything for a few days been busy and such.
Sounds silly but i have given up the eating plan i was on BUT i am still eating healthy just on my own terms and i start working out tomorrow!! I knew if i stuck to what i was doing i would fail and well that is the last thing i want,so i am taking this into my own hands and i know i can do this!!
I am already feeling better and i know once i start working out and exercising i will feel even better! I just did my search on YouTube for some great stomach work outs and i am going to go get my treadmill out of the garage and set it up tomorrow. I am so driven to do this more so then ever... However i am currently telling myself i don't want any chocolate i am fine without LOL. But go me i haven't touched it!!!
I had a few "bad" things at the baby shower yesterday but compared to what i normally would have eaten i am so proud of myself! I know i need to work a bit more on portions dinner seems to be my worst time i need to have a small snack between lunch and dinner and it wont be as bad. I have a few things that would be good snacks so i will tomorrow.

Other then moment like right now i am actually finding this easier then normal.. i think i am so driven to do this i wont let anything get in my way!! By the end of the year i plan to be buying all new summer clothes.Mind you these moments are hard not to just dive into all the kids chocolate but i am finding i do have will power and i will use it LOL.
I am excited to start my new work outs and stuff tomorrow i know it will be a bit full on and painful for a little while but once that bit is over it will become easy and i will start to see results!Which will make it all worth while and seeing the difference i can make for myself.

Well that is it for now,i will update tomorrow night with how my first day of working out goes lol

Peace out xoxo