Today....

Well today was over all a good day cant really complain about it but i feel like i have had the worst day(nothing against you Tammie i love you and Markiss) I have no idea why i am feeling like this. Even woke up in a mood still didn't help with some messages i had.Most of my day was spent with a great friend and the kids played and had a great time as did i chatting to another adult LOL,after i left there i went and applied for a job and i was given an application form but it was like 23 questions long and a lot of them you had to answer with a short description... Well did that throw me BIG time. Don't get me wrong i sat down and did it but it has been over 8 years since i applied for a job and not knowing that i have to do all this writing and stuff was just like a big slap in the face i had no idea what to write for most.Took me almost half an hour and i haded it back.. not sure i will hear anything but hey i tried... also i applied online for another job,not holding my breath. So like i said i didn't have a crap day just in the mood like i did.
I have been feeling tired from the moment i got home from picking jack up this afternoon and all i have wanted to do was lay down and have a nap but i talked myself out of it(plus Lil was taking forever to go to sleep) so i sat and did some stuff on the net and watch from Raising Hope,all i had going through my head was go get some of jack easter egg chocolate and much away... Well i stopped myself i had a tiny little Andes mint chocolate and went and jumped on the treadmill for about 15-20 mins.... even writing this now i still really want chocolate,it is this mood i always like to comfort eat and i am holding back so much it is making my mood worse but i just wanna try and power through today and hope tomorrow is a better day! Thinking i might have a muffin after dinner if i am still dieing for some chocolate.
I realised today that i have some really supportive friends.. well majority are but just those ones that help boost your ego that bit more or make you feel like you could be/are some special.. I dunno just lately like i said in my last blog things have kinda hit me and i really don't have much self esteem or faith in myself and i really do need to find some or life will get a bit harder specially with looking for a job.I dunno i always try to please everyone and make them happy and be there when needed but i guess i dont really focus on me much now a days.... I know i am trying to lose weight and get healthy and yes it is totally for me but the past week it has been hard to do anything to do with that i am pushing myself through and hope that i will snap out of this but i don't really think i am very interesting or pretty.(no this isnt one of those times where a person is looking for people to go but you are pretty,i am simply saying this is how i feel/see myself). I need to find my confidence in myself and now i can do this and anything else i put my mind too. The past few months i am been hearing people say things to me that are wonderful and i love them for that but i am just not seeing it.... I guess i will in time just need to really work on me some more not just getting healthy and losing weight.But i am sure i will get through and hopefully soon.
Ok wow LONG post... well better run anyways i hear my baby girl awake
Until next time xoxo